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• Breaking Election News •

7 November 2008

This just in! Late last night, city officials reported that fires broke out in three of SAGA's major polling centers as fire elementals arrived to cast their ballots. There were no major injuries sustained, though the incidents have delayed the election process.

Officials say the ballots are being recovered through an advanced scientific technique referred to as "un-burnification," which will enable experts to physically reconstruct the papers (as long as the unstable energies required don't unmake reality). Questions have been raised as to why no one thought to provide flame-retardant ballots, in the first place.

The winning candidate will be announced Monday morning. If you haven't voted already, be sure and get to it!

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